Mars Bar

“And I thought… ‘brilliant, I’ll just stay in Thailand!’”

-Mars, owner of “Mars Bar” and “Mars Electricity”, Bang Nyang, Phang Nga, Thailand

Marcel is a self-described lazy Englishman, too lazy to learn much Thai (despite a string of Thai girlfriends), and equally lazy to learn any French, despite his obviously French heritage. Marcel goes by Mars, and is the proprietor of one hippy-dippy happy place called Mars Bar (yeah, it makes me want candy too). A few minutes after we arrived Mars comes chugging in on his motorbike, whooping and exclaiming that he is most definitely not drunk, unlike like last night. Walking towards us, arms wide, there are hugs all around, despite the fact that Miléna and I are just meeting him now. He’s great to chat with-- easy going, yet exhuberant; he has his opinions but loves listening to others’ views too. A while back Mars came to Thailand for a two week holiday with his British girlfriend, and never went back. “at all!?” I asked incredulously. “Well yeah, for three weeks. And then I thought, to hell with England, so I said, Shelly—I think I’m going back. I dunno how long, but I’m gonna go”. And four and a half years, a couple different Thai girlfriends, and a number of odd jobs later… here he is. Shoulder length wavy white hair, slightly tanned leathery skin, the standard hippie t-shirt, sandals, and bracelets… he’s a town fixture. But Mars is different than some of the other expats. He seems to truly enjoy every moment, and after discovering that Thailand is where he’s happy, he thought, “let’s enjoy it, why not?”.

Many other older expats I’ve seen seem resentful at the fact that they must explain themselves against critical eyes… “I don’t think they could find women back home, so they came here…” Miléna conjectured when looking at our Irish waiter (a common sentiment that might not be far off for many, but certainly not all). And some of the younger expats just seem a bit lost, emotionally floating. But to be content with where you seem to have found happiness, that’s all it seems to take for Mars. His feelings on things are strong, he knows where he stands and he doesn’t worry himself if others think differently of him for it. Mars has family (children and grandchildren) in England, but Thailand is home for him. He is perfectly happy to go through life here, getting by on what little money he makes and spending what he has as he wishes. I don’t think I could ever be truly content in Mars’s shoes, but I admire his certainty and his relaxed comfort with his life. I guess in your sixties that’s more important and expected than in your early twenties, but when I see someone who enjoys where they are and what they’re doing it’s always uplifting. These people are the ones I love hearing stories from, and their attitudes make them fun and easy to be around. 

 

Being the yearning, questioning, discombobulated young person that I am I search the lives of people like Mars—where did they acquire this easy attitude? Part of me says, “with time”; Mars is older, and I rarely witness his confidently relaxed demeanor in someone my age, so this very likely is not something he was born with. But I think there’s more to it than situation and time—there’s the attitude that says, “well, if I like it here, why not turn this vacation into a life?”. Even if it’s not in the cards to book it to Thailand forever, the ability to see what makes you happy and not just desire that, but straight-forwardly go about acquiring it as well is an enviable trait, most particularly when one can cultivate it in the day to day, finding happiness in the moment, even when the rest of life is in limbo.