Old scams, or new friends?

For someone who means no harm to anyone, I sure do spend a lot of time thinking that the world is out to get me. When good fortune smiles upon me I glare at, as if I’m expecting it to open its mouth and spit in my eye.

Today, walking back to the car after stopping in 7/11 to buy some sausages for Mickey, a woman smiled warmly at Sandra and I as she biked by. “Do you know her?” Sandra asked me, like a good New Yorker. “No”, I laughed, “but I was going to ask you the same thing”. While Sandra and I both smiled in response to the woman, it took me much longer to crack a grin. In Bangkok I was absolutely overwhelmed by the tuk-tuk drivers, taxi drivers, food stall vendors… it goes on and on. Everyone is trying to sell you something, always approaching you with, “hellooo, where you go?” which led me to not only believe that I hated the Thai language, but also that smiling in response to someone else’s smile will only bring you pain and feelings of disappointment in your fellow humans.

More than a little horrified at myself for having lost an ability for pleasantries, I now find myself wondering how long it will take me to shake the hardened skin that has kept me glowering since Bangkok. Yes, the tuk-tuk drivers were so unremittingly obnoxious that they drove me to, on more than one occasion, respond to their requests with snide retorts, the most polite of which being, “don’t you think I’d ask for a ride if I needed one?”. And yes, I was scammed so many times that once, at the end of my rope as I stormed back onto the ferry I did not want to be on (longest scam story ever), I flipped some salaciously-mouthed dockhands the bird. No, I’m not proud of these moments, but they are moments from which I absolutely learned unforgettable lessons. The first of which being: travel is hard. Really, really freakin hard. Second—it will get better with time, because these lessons are not easily forgotten. Third—so, I’m, uh… an anxious person. And traveling brings out my most degoutant devil. But even that is something I can improve upon (I mean, from where I was, there’s quite frankly nowhere to go but up). Learning to breathe, even when $86 has just unfairly left your hands, is a very, very good thing. Accepting, relaxing, and just plain dealing is so important and is without a doubt the greatest lesson I took away from my three weeks of travel.

Being immersed in a dirty and overwhelming city can leave one dwelling on the overly abundant negative aspects of humanity, and coming back to FED I couldn’t help thinking about all of the things wrong with the Thai government and how its people act as a result of its unsavory ineptitude. And while I have numerous jaw-dropping stories about all sorts of unfortunate things to share when I return home, for now it’s worthwhile to think about all of the wonderful things I have witnessed here—and all of the wonderful people that have made them happen.

Now I sit, perfectly contented in a bed spacious enough for me to sleep comfortably with my computer next to my head and half my belongings sprawled around me, listening to the waves crash on the beach meters away, crunching on some late-night coconut crackers, and marveling at the generosity of my fellow humans. As I mentioned earlier, Sandra is hosting me while I find a place to stay, letting me get my feet back under me here and saving me a bundle of money while I keep her company in the face of the clumbering rat-eating lizards upstairs and the big cobras outside in the can’t-find-your-nose dark nights. And if that weren’t enough, she has offered to look into getting me an unbelievable deal renting the beach house next-door, gotten me a well-paying job where I get to learn all about American flags, not to mention treated me to many dinners and countless interesting conversations. Wait, now why am I leaving so soon?

To close I’ll share one story (not my own) that illustrates the good-naturedness of Thais, bringing long-awaited recognition to the title of my blog. On the Thai New Year in April the Thais celebrate the Water Festival. On our drive home Sandra shared stories of her experience at the Water Festival. It is a day where everyone fills up huge tubs of water, carries around water guns, water balloons, etc… and wreaks havoc on their neighbors. Water is splashed at all passers-by, friends and strangers alike. Sandra said some were particularly ruthless, keeping a hunk of ice in their water tub, though she saw nothing but smiles and laughter, something that surprised her as she witnessed the combination of dousing freezing water and alcohol consumption. This holiday reminds me of the genuine congenial attitude that is really quite ubiquitous in Thai culture. It is a reminder to smile back (for chrissakes) when a smile is directed at you, and to be open to people wanting to start a conversation with you—give them a chance to practice their English and keep in mind that they’re coming from a much different place. This sort of open-ness won’t leave you disappointed.