(lots of dogs, lots of trash)
People trying to sell you things. Grabbing at your arm, smiling toothless smiles, “you come back, no? fifteen minutes? Oh, no? … how now?”
That sort of behavior just breaks me. After being hassled quite severely by a lady trying to give me a massage I had to come back to my room, click on the AC, and just sit. Despite the loneliness that has been plaguing my stomach since leaving the states, I would much rather be alone than surrounded by people talking at me rather than starting a conversation with me. They are constantly expecting something. Money.
It’s heartbreaking, although I try to remind myself—it’s their culture. That’s how things operate here, and this sweating desperation is just a way of life. They’re used to rejection, yet continue in their ways. But Lyss, I tell myself, they might be happy this way. Who am I to think that this is not a “good” way of life? That someone living this life must be empty in some way. If I am to picture the homelife of these Thai individuals I am not depressed. Despite seeing homes that hardly pass as shacks, knowing that many of them ostensibly live in a garbage heap. Yes, despite that knowledge I see happy people.
Yet from where do I presume this happiness arises? A lack of awareness, a lack of worldy knowledge, ignorance. these things, I think, are the answer.
Again, how presumptuous.
Left with these two options: happily and ignorantly living in squalor versus depressed because of the hand one’s been dealt, I frown. There must be a third answer. Aware of one’s position in life, but actively accepting it, owning one’s situation and thus creating happiness? I like this one best, but to be honest I saw it in only one individual yesterday. The man who smiled when I casually walked by. Feeling a little harassed after walking the gauntlet of hawkers, I was hesitant to return his smile. Luckily for this little blog post, that bothered him little and he spoke to me anyway, “slowly”, he said. “That’s better, slowly”. I had been walking too fast, and slowing down to hear his comment, I slowed down to the pace he found appropriate for a humid afternoon.
A rush of thoughts came to mind—dude, that was my leisure pace. And-- ohhh (ding-ding bells going off), do I really look that harried? Maybe I should really slow down. I ponder this option briefly, but am interrupted by the realization that I haven’t eaten in some time and the “ny minimart” sells ice cream, whereby I am subsequently jogging to my room to grab the few hundred baht to seal the deal. Oh well, lesson potential acknowledged, if not heeded just yet.
This anecdote is not meant to illustrate a point about Thai people or Thai culture, nor is it meant to illustrate anything about myself (though I’m sure you’ve already caught on to a few things). All there is to say right now is-- there are many, many different types of people in this world and making assumptions, while often necessary, can also easily get in the way. Accepting others as they are (in your eyes) is one thing, accepting them as they want to be accepted is another. It’s a cliché to say “open your eyes and you will see”, but I appreciate the reminder nonetheless.
PS- a little aside: again, perhaps it’s all perspective. I was greeted by so many cheerful smiles while jogging this AM at 6 through the Surinath National Nature Park that I (partially) regretted the assumptions I made in the blog post I’d just written. Everyone was eager to smile and say “maww-neen” in response to my cheerful “good morning!” Ah, so that’s the answer—RUN! and no one will try to scam you on anything!
PPS- slightly less self-evident post to follow. I’m still trying to figure out how to frame this budding business venture in my mind…
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