Not all 7/11s are created equal...

Surprisingly, Thailand’s biggest store chain and the provider of at least 1/3 of my food here has not warranted a blog post. Until now!

“Seven”, as the locals call it, has provided me with the opportunity to test many tasty Thai/Asian snacks, and as my time here winds to a close I’ve made it a point not to buy something I have already tried. Which is why tonight, when all I really wanted was a panini’d ham and cheese croissant or something “sandwich-y” and the seven-eleven next door was completely cleaned out, I instead opted for one of the filled buns from the hot case next to the cash registers. The case, filled with many dim sum-esque buns, was something I avoided my first couple weeks here, but finally I caved and have since tried a couple of the buns—veggie (only offered during the veg festival!), pork, and tonight… rabbit cream. Yeah, I know. I told myself that, in my partial venture away from vegetarianism, I was totally able to handle bunny cream.

I think that’s where the problem began... I called it bunny cream. I wouldn’t have been so tempted to try it, but the saleskids made such faces when I inquired about it one day that I thought I must try it just to prove to them that a Westerner enjoys eating rabbit cream! But then, breaking into the bun, I thought of it as bunny cream. And how the hell was I going to eat a creamed bunny!??! 

I bit into something that tasted, well, creamy. No bunny flavor anywhere. But the damage was already done. All I could think was, “there actually is a bunny hidden in here somewhere!” Nauseated, I couldn’t finish it, and even typing about it now I feel a bit like I’m going to vom up the creamy bunny that is currently floating around in my belly. Poor, poor bunny!

This experience is just one of many that leaves me with no doubts that I will happily return to vegetarianism when I’m back home. It’s not (usually) that I feel for the animal I’m eating, but mostly that I simply do not enjoy eating it, and I find that I always pick around my meat (usually chicken) for the often scarce veggies anyway. One of the biggest struggles, however, is justifying myself to others. It sounds so silly, but I have had trouble confidently adhering to my own morals and beliefs while here. Ashamedly, I must admit to being influenced by others in the oddest, high school girl kind of way in my time here. Of course, I have been true to my biggest beliefs and goals, but I’ve found that through many tiny transgressions every day, I had lost feel for who I am. I recently started working out again and with it came a flood of emotions… I hadn’t even realized that strong emotions were so profoundly missing for much of my time here.

I have a lot more to say on this flux of morals and the ‘tuning out’ that precipitates it. I am currently crafting posts on these thoughts as I consider what the past few months have been and as I prepare to leave Thailand. From wishing I was more actively curious about the culture around me to reflecting on how much change I truly have undergone despite my immersion shortcomings, I have lots to share.